Where Do We Begin?

I often ask myself this and walk away with no tangible answers. Sitting in the dark cool quiet of my office, with a blank canvas stretched across my aging monitor, waiting eagerly for me to paint a vivid story that I’ve rehearsed over and over again in my mind…it never wants to translate from plan to paper as easily as I’d prefer. Yet here we are with a new Medium — new to me, at least — and I decided to give it a go.

Focus lists highly on the things I lack. I can start writing, and go searching for a picture or scene or sound or song that relates to my intent, then I am lost in the searches, enjoying and reminiscing the ‘what ifs’ rather than just writing it down. Yes, I do have ADHD, but it will not defeat me, today. I passively make fun of myself, but the truth is, it is a Great Dragon that I have every weapon within me to defeat, as I mentally walk the forest paths and cobblestoned village streets of my fictional towns, wishing.

Oh the wishing…the wishing that I could get back on track (whichever road I am traveling in my stories) and just write! Perhaps wishing is this Great Dragon’s fiery breath, seeking to destroy any productivity I may have, today. But the Great Dragon isn’t winning, and the fiery exhalation of wishes are doused with sitting and writing, even if it is just a few paragraphs putting this great battle to print.

Because of this, because I stopped wishing I could just write and simply did, I have come to a story. It may not be long, but it is substantial and legible, and to me it makes sense. The Great Dragon did not fall, however. He merely lost the battle. And this battle will continue even as I bring this story to a close.

All the best to my fellow ADHD folks,

-Ollie Gwinn